Is it really just puberty that is changing our children or are their God given nervous systems being hijacked?
For the last 13 years, I’ve done my own experiments to prove or disprove my theories that all kids are affected by increased screens and sugar and/or insufficient sleep.
I was proven INCORRECT, because not all children are affected by all three. However, most children (and adults) are affected by at least one.
I have a health chart for myself, as a rheumatologist challenged me to keep track of my eating habits, exercise, quality sleep, and stress levels to later determine which affect my exhaustion, headaches, muscle tension, GI, brain fog, joint pain, and depression. I have a separate blog about that for later. However, I could use that to help determine what was likely affecting my children…as parenting is a pretty stressful job!
Three separate times, I had given my sons an opportunity to prove they could handle themselves after playing Fortnite. All three times, I have recorded stressors like, “Had to take child to Urgent Care because he was ‘accidentally’ hit in face with a hockey stick!” I may be assuming, but I don’t think it was an accident and I do know that all our violent outbursts were within those same time constraints.
You can call it, “Boys being boys,” or you can admit that their developing brains weren’t designed to experience such immersive technology designed to feel like an actual real life battle. Can you imagine the cortisol and adrenaline released? Not to mention, an entire days worth of our limited supply of our joy hormone- dopamine.
Did any of your friends need anti-anxiety medication when you were a kid? Did 7th grade boys ever burst into tears at school? If you were born after 2000, when it became common to see a 2 year old playing games on mom’s cell phone at a restaurant, you likely have a different perspective.
My son created an entire presentation proving he was ready for cell service a few months after his 13th birthday. We were hesitant, but he was within the time period of “too tough momma” era and very balanced and stable.
He was only able to remain level-headed and composed for two months. He turned into a different child, knocking out all the stereotypical “puberty of a boy” obstacles. I explained that these actions were proving to me that he wasn’t ready for a phone. It’s only been two months without the phone, but has improved enough that I felt led to create this blog. Now, I’m only dealing with minor hiccups versus falling apart.
Fancy twist to the story: he recently shared that he thinks he needs anti-anxiety medication. When we tried to get to the root, he shared, “I didn’t want to tell you this before because I didn’t want you to blame the phone, but it all started halfway through when I had a phone.” I’m thinking the poor boy is still feeling effects that technology has on our brains months after.
We can’t blame them, as these devices are designed to lure you in and create an addiction. Have you watched Social Dilemma, Screenagers, or Screened Out? Have you ever looked around a waiting room? They’ve hooked us all! This same son will ask me, “Have you been on Facebook today? I can tell a difference in you after you scroll too much!”
With anxiety, its evil twin depression usually takes part. I think its because our body releases cortisol to help protect us in an emergency. However, stress from screens (even my “innocent” guilty pleasure of looking at friends’ babies on Facebook) can trigger your body to increase blood sugar levels to provide extra energy. Too much cortisol can result in depression! Ready for a kicker??? Depression is often associated with increased cortisol release! Good luck helping a 10 year old out of that vicious cycle!
Did you know that the light from a screen can disrupt your sleep patterns, even two hours before bedtime? Did you know that our bodies produce a hormone called melatonin that tells your body when it’s time to sleep. Screens essentially reset this.timer as it mistakes the light from our phones as daytime and delays the release… up to two hours!
Imagine being a teacher, now that kids have instant and extremely animated media on demand! Attention span was noted as their age times 2.5 when I was in college. I can’t imagine the same standards being used now.
My middle son once asked me for help because, “It feels like I want to burst into tears, but I’m not sure why!” I asked, “Is there any way it’s because you had FIVE plates of desserts at the buffet last night?” Ever since then, him and I both notice this happening after excessive sugar… which can be one milkshake at Chick Fil A!
What Does Screen Time Do To My Brain? | SUNY Potsdam https://search.app/x4Hz4B7moVGj6f7u6
“Love and Logic” has taught me to have empathy and gently point out, “Oh no Bud, We’re so sorry this is happening to you. Those feelings are legit and scary. I love you so much and want to protect you from those. We’re going to help you by putting a timer on the device to ensure you aren’t having more than three 15 minute sessions a day. Also, that these sessions are 2 hours before your bedtime to ensure you are able to get into correct sleep cycles. We’re going to ensure we have enough time in the day set aside for you to play outside. We’re going to have your favorite healthy foods available as brain food.”
I pray you are able to find a healthy balance for not only your children, but yourselves. You will welcome a healthy nervous system when you experience your child the way God designed them to be.
