I’m always coming up with systems to help me organize and execute parenting techniques and guardrails, and I’m going to share two of my favorites.
1980 Glow-in-the-Dark Jelly Bracelets
These amazing, waterproof, cute bracelets fit everyone in the family (age 6 and up). Instead of a Star Chart or any behavior system that is stationary or one that we need to log in, these are with us everywhere we go. I’ve even pointed at them on my wrist while my daughter was fearful on stage, and she bolted out in song!
I will caution not to allow your 12 year old to come up with a massive scheme where they keep their bracelets and continue to earn extra benefits! That was disastrous.
Alright, here’s the plan. You wear them and when your kids want some (girls and boys alike were drawn towards them- even at the playground), I explain that I appreciate when kids remember their manners. So, I offer a quick command like, “Pick up my book.” When they brilliantly say, “Yes, Ma’am,” I celebrate how proud I am and give them a bracelet and another when they remember to thank me. Then, I explain that the next time we are out to dinner or the kids want screens, they can use their bracelets to pay for those luxuries. However, if they forget to use their manners, they lose a bracelet.
Parents, anything done repetitively for 20 days creates a new habit with a brand new neural pathway that will likely stick for life. Worth the $10??? Order yours now, and they’ll be shipped by mysterious magic within what seems like hours.
Healthy Habits
Speaking of new neural pathways, my newest plan is in regards to their increasing desire to play screens. Before family prayer each night, we are going to tally our healthy habits of the day and add to our screen bank.
“Did anyone read the Bible today? Journal? Exercise? Serve others? Was anyone honest even though stretching the truth would’ve been so easy? Was anyone kind to someone who is oh-so-difficult to even be around? Was anyone generous? Did anyone bite their tongue when tempted to speak with disrespect? Was anyone able to take deep breaths when frustrated and come up with blessings to focus on? Did anyone feel a nudge from the Holy Spirit, not want to listen, but obey any ways? Did anyone clean up something that wasn’t their mess? Did you read, practice a new language (DuoLingo has been game changer in our home), or play a math game on https://fbimomma.com/fun-websites/ ? Have you played a board game while being kind with siblings to strengthen your relationship?” The ideas are endless when raising kids.
After noticing my son check on someone who fell at soccer, I would automatically reward him 15 minutes into his screen bank and giggle as he darted away from the ball to go help someone else who had fallen! I could even pull in old habits they mastered during our bracelet days, but warn against allowing them to tally the total. Even the most honest kids struggle with, “I checked on 14 kids at soccer last week and forgot to add.”
We would then establish guardrails appropriate for their ages. For ours, it’s no more than one hour a day and preferably in 20-minute sessions (playing outside between) and avoiding after 630 to lessen sleep disturbances.
We are in a new generation that research is scarce to document what long-term effects of excessive screens will be. It’s our job to help them guard their hearts and minds… even when they are “the only kid in their class not playing Fortnite!” Check with parents of awesome kids before you believe those kinds of statements.
Even if you are the only family standing by those guardrails, remember a quote I read once:
Raise your kids like everyone else if you want your child to turn out like everyone else!
