How to Become a “Yes” Momma

I’m a firm believer in avoiding an entitled child, so please don’t think I am going to attempt to convince you to become passive.

The Funnel Approach

I was once taught to keep children in the bottom of the funnel from ages 1-5. They should come to you to receive permission for EVERYTHING. It may sound exhausting. Well, to be honest, it IS exhausting. However, it will be worth it once you establish those boundaries. An older gentleman offered my 4 year old a sucker and I couldn’t have been more proud of her response. She asked, “Could I ask my mom first?”

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Nopro Plastic Funnel, Set of 3

How to Obtain This From the Beginning

This is one of those areas that need to be taught, expected, reinforced,  and praised during successful times.  They often forget and announce, “I’m going to go play downstairs.” I just kindly ask, “Excuse me?!” This immediately prompts them to ask, “May I please play downstairs?”

Make “Yes” a Reward

For every time your child asks a question, have a response ready that makes this possible. For example, “Could we get a puppy?” Using a pseudo psychology degree, you state, “Yes, that sounds fun. What do you think we’ll need to do first?” Guide them through save up money, research how to care for a dog, and borrow a dog to practice caring for day and night.

“Could I have a snack?”

Here’s a question you may hear all too often. I respond with, “Yes, go ahead and grab some snap peas.” Or, “After dinner, you can have whichever snack you’d like.”

Why Would I Suggest This?

From my teaching experience and parenting, I have noticed that young kids that are viewed as children instead of independent decision makers have several benefits. They seem to respect authority more, have more patience because they are expected to wait verses immediately satisfaction, and offer more appreciation when you give an unconditional “yes.”

Age 6, Now What?

Since they have a solid foundation, now you can explain to them that you trust their decisions and will continue to give them more opportunities. They feel so proud during this transition and seem to make much more thought out and responsible choices. When they fail (which is to be expected), they are old enough to reason with and have a discussion about what choice would’ve been better and what consequences should occur if it happens again.

Good Luck, Mommas! You’ve Got This!