Both of my boys have been blessed with the opportunity to attend The Anvil Academy, where truly gifted men “challenge, equip, and disciple middle school boys into strong young men.” My daughter has been asking for a “girl Anvil” for years, but we could never find a program that felt like the right fit for our family.
Around March of last year, our pastor, Andy Stanley, asked a question that stayed with me: “What breaks your heart, and what are you going to do about it?” As a teacher at heart, it has always bothered me to see kids hating school or struggling simply because the learning environment wasn’t engaging them. I once vowed I would never homeschool—but when my oldest looked at me at just eight years old and said, “I hate school because it’s boring,” I felt God gently leading me somewhere I never expected. I had prayed for other options, begged for a different answer—“God, please no, I have two younger kids… I finally have the baby in preschool… I need a break!”
But God knew better.
That year of fully homeschooling my oldest turned into a beautiful gift—one we will always treasure. My youngest (and only daughter) is more social by nature and often tells me, “I want you to be my teacher, but I want friends with me.”
While I won’t claim to have built anything as established or elaborate as a “girl Anvil,” each step, each prayer, each adjustment—brings me a little closer to offering my daughter and any others girls I have the opportunity to pour into, a chance to practice what it looks like to go against where culture is attempting to take them. I’m continually learning, evaluating, and cultivating what helps children thrive in this environment.
WHY “GREENHOUSE?”
I once heard an incredibly wise principal from a hybrid homeschool say, “We aren’t homeschooling to keep our children in a bubble, but to strengthen their roots before sending them into life’s storms.” That imagery resonated deeply with me. As someone who has taught in public school—and had two of my children attend—it captured exactly what I hoped for my own kids: not isolation, but intentional, rooted growth with like-minded families.
When my middle child was in 5th grade, I asked him, “What is something Godly you noticed today at public school, and something worldly?” He told me about a classmate kindly picking up pencils another child had dropped—then shared a shockingly inappropriate he received from another boy on the playground. I somehow held my composure and asked, “What are your thoughts on that, and how can I help you process it?” His response humbled me:
“I remembered what you said about kids knowing too much too soon. I’m going to tell him that if he’s brave enough to tell his mom something happened to him, I’ll get him out at base for free every day.”
Moments like that remind me why I value having the opportunity to speak into their experiences throughout the school day. But I also recognize the importance of bringing other voices into their lives. I’ve invited some incredible women to pour into the girls. One of my favorite moments was getting the courage to personally ask Karen Stubbs. She laughed nervously and said, “Middle school girls scare me!” I reassured her, “Not these girls—they’re homeschoolers. They’re precious!” She showed up at my home with thoughtful gifts for the girls and the moms, and she blessed us even more profoundly as she has when I’ve attended her events.
We’ve also welcomed speakers from various ministries who have offered wisdom, testimony, and encouragement. My goal is to touch on the 34 different topics I’ve gathered over the years, along with many object lessons to help them visualize spiritual truths. These topics came from friends who answered the question: “What do you wish your daughter had felt more confident about in middle school?”
Middle school is one of the most confusing seasons for young women. And honestly, stepping into menopause reminds me just how real and raw those emotions can be. What better time to step away from the rush, intensity, and often-misinterpreted interactions of traditional middle school life? Yes—middle school girls can be intimidating. But they are also tender, sincere, and wonderfully honest. When they feel supported and equipped with Biblical tools for communication, they are less likely to bury their emotions so deeply.
I’ve always been a “safe place” for kids to ask uncomfortable questions. I aim to respond with thoughtful questions of my own and then guide them back to what Scripture says—whether it’s about identity, honoring parents, purity, or the changes of puberty. With that said, I gently encourage all of us to follow this simple guideline:
Believe half of what you hear, and I’ll do the same.
Words spoken and words heard can be two very different things. The girls love to talk, share, and explore ideas—which is wonderful—but it also reveals just how easily perspectives can become tangled or misunderstood. Please reach out anytime you have questions or concerns. Open communication keeps this a truly safe community.