I cant say enough to praise this book, nor could I ever offer appreciation for the hours (years accumulated by now) of sleep we earned back.
A majority of the people we’ve discussed the book with, swear by it and have purchased for others. We’ve only spoken with one person who was against. She went on to say, “Burn that book. It’s the devil!” We’ve decided she only focused on the 1 star reviews, which are obviously only written by those that haven’t read the book.
The basic summary to see if you agree is that babies need to learn how to eat, play, and sleep. More importantly, it’s a parents job to determine what is best for them in these areas… NOT THE CHILD!
When feeding, a baby naturally becomes very relaxed and wants to sleep. Gary Ezzo suggests that you find a way to help them finish their meal, so that they don’t create a habit of many snack feedings. If breastfeeding, you will learn how long it takes them to finish an entire meal by timing how long they feed/ make it until they are ready for more.
Play seemed to be the most troublesome for my children. They just wanted to eat and take a nap, like their momma! It starts out as only a couple minutes, but you increase daily. You can plan bath time, a walk, animated talk time, a book, etc. I even went as far as a wet towel on their neck! Someday, I will post about “blanket play,” as it was pivotal in their behavior.
Sleep was the most difficult for my husband! Poor guy has so much more compassion than myself. The premise is that they need to learn HOW to fall asleep and the earlier, the better/ faster results. Anything that you offer them during the bedtime routine will be expected. If you give a pacifier, you can almost guarantee that when it falls out of your child’s mouth, they wont be calling Grandma to bring it back. That’ll be all you! If you rock them, feed them, have special music, etc, you better believe for every thunderstorm, doorbell, loud sibling, phone call, you will starting over.
Here’s the deal, you need to lay them down in their bed when they are wide awake and leave. If you wait until they are tired, it may be more difficult for them settle themselves. Either way, they will most likely lose their minds, but I promise this is a short term problem for lifelong bliss. In 6 weeks, they will sleep through a feeding and sleep 6 hours. By 12 weeks, are you sure you are ready for this? They will sleep 12 hours! That’s half of the day that you can rest, relax, rejuvenate, catch up on life, date your husband, and even sleep! The younger you start this, the less likely they’ll remember the “trauma” of you expecting them to sleep without you and even enjoy the peacefulness of bedtime! However, this “trick” won’t cure their best efforts to convince you they need just one more… well, anything! 😉
When you are tempted to end their “misery” and pick them up to comfort them, ask yourself, “Could they be sick, dirty diaper, or too hot/cold?” Quick test is to pick them up and if they nuzzle in and stop crying, they win/ you lose!
If you feel terrible about them crying, you can read our story about respiratory distress as that child is the same child that never threw fits like the other two. Therefore, crying strengthens lungs! Put on some very loud music and think of a task to distract yourself. Do not, I repeat, PLEASE DO NOT stand by the door waiting for them to stop. It will feel like eternity! After 15 minutes, you can go in to speak to them, comfort them, and rub their back. Please avoid the temptation to pick them up, as the process will then start over.
Not only is this approach amazing for building healthy eating and sleeping habits, but also establishes a foundation that they weren’t born into a child centered home! This will serve you well when you start expecting them to be kind to others and obey you. Another “guarantee” the book promotes is that strangers will compliment how content your children seem in public. I didn’t believe that until it happened to me. It’s so often now, that I’ve added quality sleep to my Parenting 911 blog. Think about how grumpy and impatient you feel after a poor nights rest. Now, double that for a child, as they don’t have as much control over their surroundings.
You’ve got this! I promise you will start talking to strangers about this book once you experience its benefits. Best wishes!
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